Fun with search keywords

I'm working on a few new posts, but the holiday season is really kicking my butt so it's slow going.  In the meantime, here are this month's search keywords that tumble my blog on Google, plus the number of views they generated:

1. planet of the apes ape with rifle (5 views)
2. alex toth "bravo for adventure" (3 views)
3. tomb of Dracula comic book (3)
4. alex toth (2)
5. andy grittith cartoon (2)
6. barber shop hair (2)
7. girls from hopey locas (2)
8. golden key star trek comic covers (2)
9. mary blair (2)
10. photos of man sobbing (1)

Interesting.  We've discussed Planet of the Apes a few times here, but never with a particular emphasis on the apes' rifles.  Alex Toth is another popular subject for me, as is Marvel's Tomb of Dracula comic.  The spelling of Andy Griffith is unfortunate, but apparently Google understood.  I love Jaime Hernandez's Locas stories, and Hopey is my favorite character in them.  Mary Blair was a genius and my belief in her genius gained reinforcement from a Disney museum show we went to a few years back that featured a heapin' helpin' of Blair's preliminary designs for different movies, heavy on the Alice in Wonderland.  I don't write about her very often because this is a book about comic books.  Gold Key Star Trek remains a fave.  And the photos of a man sobbing are probably of me every time DC reboots its universe or stumbles into some horrific, self-inflicted public relations disaster.

Since we're approaching year's end, here are my all-time search keywords.

1. cassandra cain (346)
2. batgirl porn (206)
3. alicia Silverstone batgirl (189)
4. roddy mcdowall (169)
5. batgirl boobs (113)
6. claude akins (106
7. dani moonstar (81)
8. harlem globetrotters cartoon (80)
9. cassandra cain tim drake (73)
10. thomas magnum (69)

Lots of Batgirl-related searches.  Two Planet of the Apes searches, unless one is for The Misadventures of Sheriff Lobo.  Did I write anything about that show?  I should do a fake comic book cover for it sometime.  Of course we have Dani Moonstar on the list.  She's my all-time favorite comic book character and I probably reference her once a month.  Even that "thomas magnum" search relates to her.  I'm shocked Isis and Cindy Lee haven't made this list.

How do people find this blog?

Overwrought and poorly written, I suppose.  But no, I mean what search terms do people type into Google, only to have this disaster of a blog pop up in their results?  Allow me to share them with you.

1.  alicia silverstone batgirl
2.  roddy mcdowall
3.  cassandra cain
4.  dani moonstar
5.  harlem globetrotters cartoon
6.  batgirl alicia silverstone
7.  batgirl boobs
8.  dave toschi
9.  heavyset girl body stocky big short nude sex pic movie
10.  claude akins

What can we learn from this?  Apparently, I write a lot about Batgirl, Dani Moonstar and Planet of the Apes.  That's true.  I think I mentioned Alicia Silverstone (256 hits) one time and one time only in one of my many Batgirl blog posts, and now her name is going to haunt me every time I check my traffic sources.  She's a popular woman.  I probably knock off some ill-informed rant about Cassandra Cain once or twice a month, and I know I've frequently criticized the way various artists have drawn her breasts.  Somehow I don't think that's what the "batgirl boobs" searchers (65 total, including 11 this month alone) have in mind when they go a-lookin' for that kind of stuff.

Actually, I get a lot of hits from people searching for things like "batgirl porn" (21 this month, but I'm surprised this isn't my search leader), "batgirl big boobs" (5 this month) or "bat girl boobies" (a semi-literate 2).

I honestly don't remember writing anything about the Harlem Globetrotters, but I probably did.  Maybe a shout out to one of their cartoons from the 1970s, of which I was a huge fan.  Roddy McDowall and Claude Akins starred together in Battle for the Planet of the Apes.  Dave Toschi is a retired San Francisco police inspector whose unusual upside-down shoulder holster rig Steve McQueen copied in the movie Bullitt.  He later investigated the Zodiac murders and was portrayed by Mark Ruffalo in David Fincher's movie about the case-- which I highly recommend.  A modern classic and instantly one of my top 5 favorites of all time.



But number 9 on that list?  I'm guessing that's the result of a post I wrote about Xi'an Coy Manh when she briefly became morbidly obese.  Amazingly, 51 people typed in those exact same search terms.  Or else the same person typed them 51 times.

Some amusing oddball searches:

1.  comic female quarterback
2.  sexy phyllis diller
3.  hayley kiyoko
4.  styx kilroy was here
5.  billy zabka red jacket

I have no idea where that first one comes from.  Number two is a "whatever floats your boat" kind of thing.  I love Phyllis Diller, but I'm not sure I've ever found her sexy.  Hayley Kiyoko is a multi-talented up-and-comer who played Velma in a couple of Cartoon Network live-action Scooby Doo movies and recently starred in a Disney musical called Lemonade Mouth, which I understand was something of a smash hit.  Ten of her fans found my lousy blog clogging up their Hayley Kiyoko Google stalking this month because I made an off-handed reference to someone's drawing of Cassandra Cain resembling her facially.  My apologies, Kiyoko-ites.  Or, if you prefer, Kiyokians.  Billy Zabka-- better known as William Zabka, better known as Johnny Lawrence of Cobra Kai-- I salute you!

Yes, I'm a fan.