Monday, March 9, 2009

Slate Joins the Watchmen Hype

Slate has a slideshow feature called "What if Woody Allen Had Directed Watchmen?" which is more clever than actually funny. They posit various versions of the movie directed by Woody Allen, Sophia Coppola, Judd Apatow (Silk Specter is a "non-speaking role") and Pedro Almodovar. The Allen version seems like something he might've actually made back in the early 1970s as a parodic/satirical response to superhero movies if they'd been the big cinematic trend back then. Something like a cross between Take the Money and Run and Sleeper.

In fact, Woody Allen actually wrote a script for it in early 1976, but discarded it in favor of making Annie Hall. The Allen version was titled Dr. Manhattan Murder Mystery, and evidently, Alan Moore was able to get hold of a copy, which he then freely adapted into his groundbreaking graphic novel. Here are some excerpts:

DR. MANHATTAN (voice over)
After fifteen minutes I wanted to marry her, and after half an hour I completely gave up the idea that, despite her intelligence, she meant no more to me than the world's smartest termite.

You are the greatest lover I've ever had.

Well, I practice a lot when I'm alone on Mars.

The Almodovar one is my favorite, if only because it casts Michelle Yeoh as Ozymandias.

Mmm... Michelle Yeoh as Ozymandias. If only Zack Snyder truly were visionary!

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