Shazam! #25: Cindy Lee Loves Danger!

"She's magical... She's mysterious... She's magnificent-- and she's more exciting than any other super heroine!  Part human, part goddess, all wonderment-- with the most unusual powers anyone ever possessed!  She uses them now in a desperate race to save her friend Cindy Lee from certain doom as Andrea Thomas becomes--  ISIS... AS IN CRISIS!"

Ah, Shazam! #25 (DC Comics, September-October 1976).  This is what feel-good comics are all about.  It's also a breakthrough moment enshrined forever in comic book history.  Why?

Because even though cover artist Kurt Schaffenberger seems to have little or no idea who she is, this book marks the sizzling debut of our favorite sidekick and teacher's pet from the CBS Saturday morning live action television show Isis (also know as The Secrets of Isis), Cindy Lee.  Oh yeah, and if the introduction didn't clue you in enough, this is the first comic book appearance of Cindy's co-star Isis, too.  She's okay, too. I guess. I mean, if you're interested in such things.  But we know the real draw is Cindy Lee.  

And what a splash she makes!  Editor Julie Schwartz must have known he had something special in Cindy, because he put his varsity team on this story.  It's written by Denny O'Neil, with art by none other than Dick Giordano himself.  I do miss Giordano.  His art in this story is just so smooth, so appealing.  Rik Estrada and Wally Wood do a bang-up job on The Mighty Isis #1, but after reading this, Giordano is forever my artist pick for these characters.  And I prefer O'Neil as writer.  After all, O'Neil and Giordano are the team-- along with some guy you may have heard of named Neal Adams-- that brought to life some of the most influential and memorable Batman stories of all time.

Here's how it starts:
 

CINDY LEE?!  OH NO!  The last thing you expect to see when the wrecking ball crashes into your old high school is your star pupil in mortal danger.  This is one of those moments where you can almost see O'Neil's script showing through the drawings.  He has ten pages, needs Isis in action as soon as possible, so he puts Cindy Lee in harm's way.  She's from the TV show, right?  Stick her inside the school as it comes tumbling down, explain it later.

As you can see, science teacher Andrea Thomas and her colleague Rick Mason are a little concerned because they know damn well Cindy's parents didn't sign the school's special permission slip with the indemnity clause regarding any and all Cindy-related fatalities, including her own.  So much for their raises for the next several years.  So much for any more field trips to Egypt.  So much for the computer lab.  So much for art supplies.

The football stadium will still get its new scoreboard and the team its new uniforms, however.  And they can't cut the head coach's pay.  In fact, they can't even fire the guy without buying out his contract to the tune of four or five language, visual arts and home ec faculty members.  Fortunately for the school system, Andrea Thomas has a secret power beyond that of any two or three thousand lawyers.  She's the "dual person" known as Isis.  A quick change and some rhyming magic... 

And then this muscle-headed guy shows up all, "Uh-- er-- Well, I was about to do that, but since you already did it for me..."  Nice try, Captain Marvel.  You zoom in a few long moments after too late and try to make Isis feel less special.  Well, he does exert his male authority figure privilege to get Cindy's explanation of why she thought it would be a good idea to hang out in a building during its demolition.  And here we go...

O'Neil quickly and brilliantly seizes on the little-known fact that the future valedictorian and resident pyramid enthusiast of Larkspur High School (class of 1978) is a sensation-seeker.  Dare you doubt me?  I have proof-- in "Fool's Dare," (September 13, 1975),  the second episode of Isis, Cindy enters a dangerous junkyard in answer to some hurtful words from a classmate and tangles with car thieves wearing pitted-out shirts.



Back here in the four-color world, our secret thrill-junkie was once again doing some sleuthing of her own and followed a couple of suspicious creeps right into danger's maw.  She's so intrepid she'll chase them round Good Hope, and round the Norway Maelstrom, and round perdition's flames before she'll give them up... if that's what it takes to bring them to justice.  Whatever it was they did.  Which we don't know yet.  We'll find out later, thanks to Cindy.

There's a flashback to Isis's origin at this point in the story, too.  Boring.  And, his work finished, the Big Red Cheese soars away feeling self-satisfied at having patronized Isis.  Back to The Simply Awesome Misadventures of Cindy Lee!

 Wow!  Check that out!  She actually puts moves on Rick Mason!  Cindy Lee, bold seeker of dangerous, age-inappropriate love.  Certainly can't blame her.  In life, if you want something, you have to go right for it.  It's good Cindy understands this, and of course, we all know Rick Mason is one swell fella.  At least he's not married.  Cindy is no Tracy Flick.  However, for her well being, I really think Cindy should go for someone more in her peer group.  A student.  Like photographer/budding cryptozoologist Lee Webster.  

What a guy, that Rick Mason.  He's right to quash Cindy's romantic notions.  While it's natural for a student-- especially one we now know harbors a hell-bent streak-- to confuse admiration for an authority figure with love, as a dedicated educator Rick Mason knows even giving Cindy the slightest--- WHAT THE HELL?  Loaning her his car?  What kind of responsible teacher does something like that?  I take it all back.  Rick Mason is a mixed-signal sending bastard.

And look how nonchalantly he does it.  It's the ol' over the shoulder "I'm godlike in my lack of concern whether you live or die" keys toss.  It's not even a decent throw because Cindy has to lunge into a semi-crouch to catch them.  The least Rick Mason could have done-- since even this much is wildly beyond the bounds of proper teacher-student interaction-- is place the keys in her hand.  Once the school officials get wind of this, he's out on his guitar-strumming ass faster than you can say, "Matthew Broderick as Mr. McAllister" anyway.  Show some class while you simultaneously destroy a girl's feelings and your career.  Instead, our ostensibly nice guy teacher puts on this smug, superior act as if to tell her, "You can't have me, but take my car for a spin, you baby."

Down in the dumps, sitting on a pile of rubble that visually symbolizes her fractured heart, Cindy soon finds another adrenaline-pumping adventure.  I'm so impressed with this characterization I'd buy a Cindy Lee monthly.  No superheroics.  Just Cindy Lee and her pals getting themselves into all kinds of crazy scrapes.  You know what this comic is starting to remind me of?  A mid-70s kiddie version of David Lynch's Blue Velvet.

Now there's a thought.  In fact, Cindy prefigures Kyle MacLachlan's Jeffrey Beaumont in many ways.  He finds an ear, becomes involved with an older woman and discovers an underworld of crime and perversion in his little town, Cindy Lee sees the aftermath of a crime, wants to become involved with an older man and finds a tame young-readers version of the Lynchian paradigm right there in whatever town it is she lives in.  And much like Jeffrey, Cindy's involvement nearly results in her death.

"When the green field comes off like a lid/Revealing what was much better hid," wrote W.H. Auden in his poem "The Two."  Some things you and I-- and Cindy Lee-- are just not meant to know.  But characters like Jeffrey Beaumont and Cindy are impelled to pull off that lid and reveal the sinister, sordid things happening all around us.  There are no gas-huffing Dennis Hoppers or lip-synching, make-up wearing Dean Stockwells in Cindy's world.  Just vaguely menacing thugs in leisure jackets  Luckily for Cindy her planet orbits a sun a bit brighter and friendlier than the one in Blue Velvet.

But Cindy and pals would easily update to modern, darker storytelling.  Lynch famously described his film as "The Hardy Boys Go to Hell."  Well, apparently O'Neil's take-- which I'm guessing he based largely on "Fool's Dare"-- on Cindy Lee is she's a 21st century Nancy Drew with a knack for getting herself into trouble of the same sort.  We could build on that and have her enthusiastically investigate crimes, her optimism and incorruptible innocence contrasted with the sick, perverse things she uncovers and reveals to the world.  Meth labs, porn rings, bizarre blackmail plots, public figures who are secret degenerates.  Narrow escapes without an Isis there to bail her out, forcing Cindy to rely on her own pluck and quick wits.

Or not.  Maybe she'll always need an Isis for advice and guidance.  Cindy is smart and spunky but she is, after all, a risk taker.  She's lucky to have a friend and guardian like Isis.  Solve a crime and win Rick Mason's heart?  Oh, Cindy...

As a special bonus, here's Captain Marvel beating up a bear.

What's Eating Dani Moonstar?

Dani's always had issues.  Rage issues.  Mental health issues.  Comic book issues.

Her initial outings with the New Mutants in their monthly are equal parts rage and nervous breakdown.  Her mind subtly manipulated by an alien-controlled Professor Xavier, Dani reacts with fear when first confronted by the Danger Room and its virtual reality training exercises.  Consumed with self-loathing for her apparent cowardice and betrayal of her Cheyenne traditions, Dani begins to exhibit symptoms of mental illness, escalating from high-risk behavior-- attempting to defeat the Danger Room alone-- to suicidal thoughts.  Before the mind-tampering element enters the narrative, it seems Dani is on the path to severe problems.  Schizophrenia or something similar.  A huge fight alongside the X-Men against the Brood, insectoid authors of many of her problems, and Dani begins to heal, but she remains volatile.

Here's an example from New Mutants #37 (March 1986).  It starts with a typical New Mutants-style scene:  the gang are all watching a Western on TV while Dani tries to ignore their insensitivity and have a long distance phone conversation with her mom.  It's a John Wayne Western, no less.  Fantastic choice, kids.  Only Rahne has presence of mind to identify Dani with the culture being so badly portrayed in the movie by various non-Native stunt people and stick up for her friend.  While Dani loves her pals enough not to act out in rage when they callously and, frankly, stupidly cheer for the cavalry to kill all those Indians-- hooray for genocide!-- something sets her off.  Something always sets Dani off.

This time it isn't so much anger as it is a psychotic break triggered by her Valkyrie power of seeing who will soon die.  This issue ends very badly for the New Mutants.  Very badly indeed.

In a sequence stunningly illustrated by penciller Mary Wilshire and inker Bill Sienkiewicz, Dani sees the manifestation of death above her teammates' heads and begins hallucinating all sorts of fun things, such as herself in Asgardian armor and Hela, or Hel, the goddess of the underworld in Norse mythology.  Hel, who rules over Hel.  I'm no scholar of this stuff.  I prefer the Greek and Roman pantheons, and the Egyptian.  Personal taste.

Storytelling is key here.  Nice acting by Wilshire-- look at the shock and fear on Dani's face contrasted with the blissful ignorance shown by Illyana and Xi'an.  As an artist, you have to have an understanding of your characters as individuals and think in terms of their body language and reactions, just as an actor does during a performance.  Dani doesn't get mad the same way her hotheaded pal Roberto does, for example.  Chris Claremont writes it knowing this, but it's up to Wilshire to interpret it visually and communicate it to the readers.

Beyond that, I also admire Wilshire's page layouts.  The panels read so easily, just a straightforward left-to-right flow, vertical top tier containing one moment, vertical lower tier with quick jump-cuts from Dani's point of view set off by a horizontal one with a close up of her eyes, then the last panel taking us to a more objective viewpoint, which continues on the next page.  Dani freaks out at her reflection in the mirror in verticals that continue the sequence inside the house before breaking into horizontals with a location change.  This isn't the only way to do this; there are probably many others, all equally effective.  Here I really like the pacing.  Those tall panels function as quick cuts, emphasizing Dani's sped-up reactionary state, while the wide ones slow things down.  She's outside, there are no doubt crickets chirping.  She runs across the mansion grounds.  The freak-out happens in seconds, it takes longer for her to reach the barn.  The three panels where she tears open the barn doors, comes riding out on Brightwind, her magical winged horse, then bursts through a cloud trailing it like gossamer each occur in roughly equal segments of time.  Finally, Wilshire draws a panel that stretches the length of the page, expanding the time frame as Dani and Brightwind-- blame that punk mane on Art Adams, I believe-- take a long gallop across the almost endless cloud tops.  This moment probably seems timeless to Dani, and yet not long enough.


Even if Chris Claremont hadn't added all the helpful dialogue and thought balloons that explain things, you'd know someone was having an episode, seeing craziness in a mirror, then running outside into the night.

Somewhere in the sky, Dani finds comfort in words of wisdom from another hallucination, this time of her dear, departed grandfather, Black Eagle.  This is the kind of thing I used to love about New Mutants-- how the book could go from a mundane moment with the kids eating popcorn and celebrating Manifest Destiny to a fantasy-tinged sequence of a teenaged girl galloping across a silvery, moonlit sky on a winged horse.  This happens in a matter of minutes in story-time.  And then an exploding yokel appears sans shirt and ruins the magic.  It's the way you wanted your life to be when you were 15 or 16 years old.  Only if you were like me, you were faced with a daily plethora shirtless yokels and none of the winged horses.

Anyway, that's Dani Moonstar all over.  You don't get half-assed reactions from this girl.  She's all in, all the time.  Well, most of the time.  She's the epitome of the Marvel character.  She has a strongly defined personality apart from her powers.  Your basic Marvel character strikes me as a human being worth reading about whether or not they're a mutant or spider-bit or an irradiated scientist and his equally-irradiated friends.  Even if she were a character in some kind of John Knowles A Separate Peace coming-of-age novel, merely a non-powered Cheyenne teen who happened to be studying at an exclusive boarding school back east, with racism, culture clash or self-expectations her major problems rather than anti-mutant hysteria and extra-dimensional kidnappings, Dani would still be touchy, angry and oh so volatile, still interesting in her own right.  Now why writers felt the need to change her powers and give her a flying horse, I'll never understand.  But that they could do that and have the core Dani remain intact is a testament to her strong conceptualizing by Claremont and Bob McLeod.

This month's top search terms for finding this blog...

1. Cassandra Cain (17 page views)
2. Cassandra Cain Tim Drake (12)
3. Batgirl Porn (8)
4. Batgirl Boobs (7)
5. Malin Akerman Feet (7)
6. Robin and Batgirl Kiss (7)
7. Coraline Book (6)
8. Maggie and Hopey (6)
9. Cassandra Cain and Batman (5)
10. Hopey Glass (5)

"Cassandra Cain" is also the all-time Google search term for When Comics Books Ruled the Earth. 300 page views.  I'm amazed at how often people seem to search for her on Google.  Or maybe it's just that I searched for her 280 times since I started this blog and her other 20 fans accounted for one search each.

"Cassandra Cain and Tim Drake" is a popular pairing in Google search terms.  This led to one of the busiest links to this blog.  It's on another comic fan's Tumblr feed and refers to my all-time most read blog entry, "My Ten Favorite Cassandra Cain Moments," one where I freely admit to unfairly mocking Stephanie Brown as useless-- although within the context of Cass Cain's Batgirl series writers largely depict her that way-- and Tim Drake as a lothario-wannabe.  The writer praised the moments I chose, but she and her readers ripped me apart for my little jokes at the expense of those two characters.

Hey, that's okay.  One of my favorite things to do is zero in on a single moment from a story and then weave a mythology around a character based on it as their defining characteristic.  Hence thousands of drawings I've done where I have Rahne "Wolfsbane" Sinclair moon over Dani "Endless List of Codenames" Moonstar's hair.  So bang on, fans.  It's fun for you to stick up for your faves, and I can take it.

However, I sincerely want to thank them for reading it and also for keeping their anger off my blog.  I don't do these things to start arguments or to provoke a reaction (other than a chuckle or two).  I hope this doesn't come off as patronizing, but as a Cass Cain fan, I have nothing but sympathy and empathy for my sisters and brothers over there in the Stephanie Brown camp.  We're spiritual twins, really.  I wasn't one who resented that character for DC's stripping Cass of her original costume and shot at a monthly series.  While I don't care much for Steph's Batgirl comic, it has nothing to do with the character herself, but with my increasing disenchantment with the tropes and banalities of mainstream superhero books.  I believe Steph has a much greater chance of reappearing in the new DC universe than Cass and really see no reason why she shouldn't be there already.

And for the record, I frequently eat waffles.

"Malin Akerman feet" is a surprisingly prevalent search term for finding this blog.  While I'm aware there's a fetish for foot worship... why her feet in particular, and why this blog?  I wrote a review for the Japanese DVD release of Watchmen a while back and it wasn't a particularly popular post.  Perhaps I should have focused more on Akerman's feet rather than her overall performance.

I did write an entry about Batgirl's boobs, so I can understand why "Batgirl boobs" keeps bringing people here.  Here's hoping they aren't disappointed when they find the post in question is mostly me blasting an artist for drawing them way too large on a cover.  That was so long ago I can't even remember for which book!

If you're looking for an economical way to hop aboard the Nexus bus...

Dark Horse Comics has you covered:  Nexus Omnibus Volume 1 TPB :: Profile :: Dark Horse Comics.  For only $24.99 (USD), you get #1-3 of the first volume of Nexus and #1-11 of the color series that started at Capital Comics then moved to First Comics.  That's 14 comic books at about $1.78 each.  Superhero comics don't get any better than this.  From Mike Baron's literate and witty scripts-- involving all sorts of heady science-fiction concepts like gravity wells, bowl-shaped planets, fusion-based superpowers sought by politicians as a limitless energy source, plus good old fashioned love-- to Steve Rude's gorgeous artwork and fun character designs, Nexus has everything.  Everything!

Epic storylines, tender moments.  A hero struggling with his mission.  A cast of hundreds, if not thousands.  Occasional background appearances by Jack Kirby, Capt. Kirk and Mr. Spock.  Humor, heartbreak.  Thunes. Quatros.  Ursula X.X. Imada.  The Loomis Sisters.

Well, hold on.  The Loomis Sisters don't appear until Nexus #25, so they won't be in this book.  But if you buy it, you'll be hooked and become filled with anticipation at their inevitable appearance.  The Dude's art starts a little crude and unformed, but very quickly develops into the recognizable brilliance that once made him a top name mentioned alongside all those other top names back when being a top name in comics meant something.  I'd buy this myself, but I'm already locked into collecting the hardcover Nexus Archives series, which is much pricier.  I'd give it up in favor of this more affordable option but I already have the stories in this thing, plus I don't want my bookself to look disorganized or poorly planned.  Consistency.  That's what I want.  But to you, who have been champing at the bit to get into Nexus only to suffer from sticker shock or price intimidation, this is your chance.

Read it from the beginning.  And maybe Dark Horse will see fit to collect all those Nexus issues they put out in the 1990s, plus the more recent Rude Dude Productions books, into one fat volume as well.  Oh, and the series running in Dark Horse Presents which I haven't read because I'm in Japan without a credit card.

This series won SIX Eisner Awards.  That's six more than I've even been nominated for.  Buy it this November.  You won't regret it.

Ursula X.X. Imada: Motherhood Hall of Fame Inductee for 2512!

Steve Rude, Nexus #4 (Capital, Nov. 1983)

There are mothers and moms and mamas and mommies, but there's only one Ursula X.X. Imada, former Attorney General for the Cohesive Web, architect, ace spy, assassin, ambassador, prophet of the Elvonic Brotherhood religion and ruler of the planet Procyon.  Also single mother, not the least of her roles.

Being a mother isn't an easy job under the best of circumstances. But here's a woman of power, with a demanding career occasionally involving the possible black hole death of as many as 400 billion people, yet also devoted to her children.  As mother to the twin daughters of Horatio Hellpop, otherwise known as Nexus, Ursula has developed many effective parenting techniques.  But then Scarlett and Sheena are special children with intelligence and abilities far beyond the norm.  Sheena, for example, is a telepath.  She always knows what Santa's bringing for Christmas, if the jolly ol' elf can maneuver his sleigh past her mother's planetary defenses and infiltrate the well-protected Castle Imada (Imada-jo).  Scarlett is a "fusionkaster" (that's fusion-based energy manipulator to you and me, Russ) with powers rivaling her famous father's.  If these two are to follow in their illustrious mother's political footsteps, they require more than the usual family dinners and ballet lessons.

Rude/Eric Shanower, Nexus #9 (First, Nov. 1985)

Let's look at some of Usula X.X. Imada's finest mommy moments.  We can learn a thing or two from her!

Ursula's first and foremost a proponent of being their for your children.  Being part of their lives.  Although her responsibilities and career as a power-seeker occupies a great deal of her time and concentration, Ursula X.X. Imada makes it a point to be part of her daughters’ lives.  When convenient, a physical presence.  This includes doing such things as canceling meetings with heads of state and personally breastfeeding (despite taking her own sweet time giving them names) the babes.  Yet always a spiritual or psychic one.  Even in her absence, she makes her influence felt by providing for their intellectual and emotional well-being.

Ursula's parenting techniques have their basis in education.  Rigorous education.  She has lofty expectations for her daughters' academic progress, sets standards high and demands they perform to the best of their abilities.  Special talents require special teachers.  As ruler of an entire planet, Ursula has massive resources upon which to draw.  This ensures she hires only the best tutors for individualized instruction.  While you may not have her deep pockets, do the best you can with what you have.  Remember:  when you skimp on your children's education now, you pay extra for it later.

Rude/Shanower, Nexus #15 (First, Dec. 1983)

She has seen to their early childhood education with staples such as various Earth-based and intergalactic languages, plus advanced Calculus, which both girls quickly master.  The need for a solid base in math and the sciences is obvious.  But languages play and important role in a child's development, especially if they are to read historical texts in the original languages; this allows the young mind to absorb information within its proper cultural context as some concepts do not translate into English, Japanese or Interlac.  Let's spy as Ursula discovers to her delight just how talented her twins are.  Hope she doesn't spot us!

Rude/John Nyberg, Nexus #27 (First, Dec. 1985)

Note here Ursula's use of praise.  Positive reinforcement plays a crucial role in developing your child's potential both in the classroom and without.  And here we see the arrival of one of the girls' instructors, the fusionkasting professional wrestler, martial artist and galaxy-famous chef and raconteur Judah Maccabee.  While she was skeptical of Judah due to his closeness with Hellpop, she allows him to stay because of his obvious expertise.  Ursula would counsel you not to neglect your children's physical development.

Rude/Nyberg, Nexus #27 (First, Dec. 1985)

The point is, while most public schools and even many private ones have an unfavorable teacher-student ratio, the individualized approach of a hands-on, live-in educator provides incalcuable benefits, even if the turnover rate at Castle Imada is comparatively much higher.  Managed correctly, however, even frequent changes in teachers can become lessons unto themselves, rather than a source of uncertainty.  Ursula's daughters thrive in such an environment, showing remarkable progress from an early age.  Could you, as a parent, do any less for your offspring?  Perish the thought!

Rude, Nexus #50 (First, Nov. 1988)

As you can see here, Ursula also believes in helping her daughters with their homework.  While their minds are certainly sponge-like and soak up knowledge, she likes give them a little squeeze now and then to see what they've absorbed.  Ursula takes an interest in what her offspring have to say, and you should do the same with yours as well.  They may surprise you!  This can also be useful in gauging whether or not they're becoming fluent in your philosophy of the application of political and personal power.  Or if they've overheard someone plotting against you.

Jackson Guice/Nyberg, Nexus #32 (First, May 1987)

This next lesson might be the most controversial.  At the same time, Ursula isn't afraid to resort to corporal punishment.  Ursula demonstrates proper technique in this sequence.  Obviously in today's touchy-feely, anything-goes society, a good open-handed blow to the face has lost its currency.  Indeed, many so-called experts baldly state one should never strike a child.  Ursula believes this is still one of the most effective ways a caring parent can make her point.  Just make sure you follow up with an instructive word or two so the punctuating effect of a good slap isn't lost.  It's not that you want to weed out their violent impulses; it's that you want to aim them at the correct targets.  Violence without direction is simply chaos, and that will never do.

Guice/Nyberg, Nexus #32 (First, May 1987)

As Ursula demonstrates, in the aftermath of such punishment, it's further effective to reinforce the closeness of the family unit.  Embrace your children.  This is the "carrot" to the slap's "stick."  Some may decry this as sending mixed signals, resulting in emotional confusion.  Nonsense, Ursula replies.  And if so, sometimes this is necessary lest the children become complacent.  Complacency is also your enemy, along with those standing in the way on your path to absolute rule over a solar system or two.

Ursula also shares words of wisdom before she she offers the group hug.  When one child is a telepath-- even one as powerful as Sheena-- she may feel overshadowed by sister, who draws her abilities from the heart of a star.  Still, as the instigator of this incident, she must still fulfill her sisterly obligations to share.  As Ursula often observes, "Sharing is caring, if I say it is."  Or she would, if she used simple-minded rhyming aphorisms like some sort of nightclub hilariator.

This comes immediately after her sacking of the aforementioned Judah Maccabee.  Ursula will quickly fire recalcitrant or neglectful teachers, even one as highly credentialed as the famed Thune.  As always, the children come first unless there's some vital plot afoot that requires they come second.  Ursula belives instructors, although ostensibly part of the household, should also refrain from involving themselves in family matters unless otherwised asked, under pain of death.  Certain Thunes, who may prove especially troublesome, destructive or useful at a later time, may be exempt from the punitive clauses contained in their contracts.  In these cases, a simple sacking will suffice.  If the employee in question is a simple human, such as the unfortunate Lonnie Loomis, who succeeded Judah as tutor a few years later, one might resort to torture before dismissal.  Either way, like Ursula, do not be afraid to pull the plug!

Spyder/Bob Dvorak, Nexus #56 (First, May 1989)

How many times now have we seen Ursula embrace the girls?  I count three, but these are by no means the only times.  One must assume life goes on even when the story focus shifts from Procyon to Mars or Ylum, or the Bowl-Shaped World.  Hug, hug, hug.  Learn from Ursula's example and do not refrain from open expressions of love, even if the children have been up to mischief, such as stealing a starcraft, navigating it across the galaxy to visit (or save) their father and immolating his enemies with fusion energy.  Reserve the right to punish later and maintain a decisive front.  Children respond well to consistency.  Indeed, they crave it.  But by all means, hug them!  You may also use this moment to feel for communication devices secreted on their persons, or for hidden weapons.  Forewarned is forearmed.

Pet names or other forms of endearment not only make the child feel loved, but may also stimulate his or her own imagination to come up with similar nicknames for the rest of the family.  Here's as especially instructive example.

Mark Heike/Jeff Albrecht, Nexus #69 (First, June, 1990)

Ursula knows it’s through her actions she is most influential on the girls.  This is vital to her parenting philosophy.  Therefore, as in all things, she is quite deliberate in her parental interactions.  She maintains a pose of dignity and control at all times.  Lessers, such as employees, lower-ranking colleagues, servants and those to be tortured or executed, are kept at a respectful distance.  When enforcing her admittedly harsh laws, Ursula pursues her form of jurisprudence with great vigor and force.  Ursula makes sure Scarlett and Sheena have some knowledge of this as a lesson in proper tyrannical behavior.  On a related not, she was also not shy in their early years about letting them know their father's vocation, assassin of mass murderers.

Always remember, your success or failure as a parent will determine whether or not your children become lazy Mezz fanatics, wasting themselves and their lives in some sort of musical caravan forever in pursuit of cheap thrills, or largely benevolent dictators of adoring millions ready to accept the harshest of rule.  It's all up to you, the parent.  But by studying these examples of super-mom Ursula X.X. Imada and emulating her whenever possible, you, too, might become an award winner!

"Sengoku Batman:" Great Batman or GREATEST Batman?

I snagged this from TokyoPop's Facebook feed.  It's Sengoku Batman by Scott Wade.  DC needs to snag this concept and put it into production like yesterday, with Wade handling the art.  This is my favorite Batman since the Batman the Animated Series version, which I liked because of the sweet Bruce Timm designs and the Denny O'Neil-inspired characterization of Batman.  More human than the one in the comics and a lot more likable.

Sengoku, in case you don't know, is a Japanese word meaning the "Warring States period."  This was the nearly 200-year era starting with Hojo Soun and ending with the three unifiers Nobunaga Oda, Toyotomi Hideyoshi and Tokugawa Ieyasu, a time of high drama when various warlords vied to forge Japan into a single nation rather than a lot of fiefdoms or domains, and invaded Korea twice.  Lots of great stories from that time, plenty of intrigue, schemes, betrayals, set-piece battles and bold personalities.  This Batman would fit right in there.

Yes.  It's good!

The Uncanny X-Men and the New Teen Titans, or "When Dudes in Their Underwear Shake Hands"

Fresh off the The X-Men and the Micronauts debacle, here's a team up more to my liking.  It's the Marvel and DC presentation of The Uncanny X-Men and the New Teen Titans (September, 1982), a fat, slick beauty of a book.  This is the pivotal moment where both teams gather with counterparts from each conveniently facing off, or grasping hands in greeting.  Well, the Raven/Wolverine moment isn't exactly a meeting of similar characters, but you get the idea.

Kitty's body is playing it smart even if her mind is unfortunately letting her down.  We need to trust our bodies more.  Sometimes the mind plays tricks on us, but the body is always honest.  In this case, Kitty is right to hide behind Colossus rather than approach Changeling.  That green freak would only make some clumsy sexual advance, and then keep it up non-stop, transforming into snakes and octopi while groping her.  And no one on either team would raise a hand to stop the little pervert.  Probably has his erect penis poking out of his waistband-- Changeling's idea of "playful flirtation"-- which is why artist Walt Simonson chose to hide the kid's crotch behind Starfire's hair.

I haven't read this in a while, but I remember it being an effective meshing of both teams' continuity, with Cyclops having to deal with the heartbreak of seeing his beloved Jean Grey resurrected in her evil Dark Phoenix form and Darkseid teaming up with Deathstroke the Terminator to kick the snot out of both teams.  As you can see from the dialogue and thought balloons in this image, it features Chris Claremont at the height of his powers doing a bang-up job capturing the essence of all the cross-company characters, throwing in little references to past events, showing his encyclopedic knowledge of then-current comic books.

You know, sort of how he was always name-dropping the good ones in Uncanny X-Men or having minor characters that parodied Cerebus the Aardvark or whatnot.  That stuff always made me feel I wasn't wasting my time reading comics, that they really were the intellectually stimulating yet action-filled pieces of sequential literature we always claimed them to be.

While I can't remember all the story details, I do know Claremont, Simonson and inker Terry Austin knocked me right out with this book when I was 14 and a fan of both teams.  It was perfection, just everything I wanted in a team-up of Teen Titans and Uncanny X-Men.  The epic climax with Dark Phoenix showing up and sacrificing herself for love (I believe) and then the denouement with all the players kind of hanging out in their civilian clothes left me feeling for Cyclops in a wistful sort of way for a couple of hours, but I read it ten to twenty times in two days and that kind of spoiled the mood.  I still have it, along with a run of the original "Dark Phoenix" issues of Uncanny.  I should re-read this comic and see if it holds up better than The X-Men and the Micronauts.

It should.  Although Changeling is probably twice the degenerate the Entity is any day of the week.